Just my Craziness

There are only a few things i hide from.. I am an open book and if i can't figure it out.. i write it out.. so this is me.. just trying to figure it all out..

there is a huge difference between genuinely liking someone and liking the attention they give you and it took me a long time to realise that

I’m.. Still trying to learn this lesson

(Source: l1berum, via wanderlust-anne)

2013.10.30 - Thoughts and such

Girls.. like me.. you know the type, the girls who have insecure and easy written across their chest like a calling to all assholes who know how to talk smooth and lies to us.. Girls who believe the “I want more than this from you”  and “I’m not that type of guy to just sleep with a girl and run”.  Because we need to be wanted, it’s inherent in our existence that we need to be wanted, even if that finds us with tramp written across our chest.

We resort to online dating.. this should be clue number one.. that our desperation is pathetic.  Even over the internet.. our “easy” status is well read and noticed, without the hooker pictures.. it’s in our eye’s.. and the way we smile.. We are targetted by the asshole who wants nothing more than a good time. The guys who get their rocks off by chasing you for weeks.. talking to you.. off and on all day.. getting to know you, when chances are they have gotten to know about 10 others.. at the same time.  It really becomes a matter of which one of you gives in first.  This is usually you, because as much as you don’t want to admit it, you are THAT girl.  You are the girl that sleeps with the guy just so he likes you, even when you know he doesn’t really like you.  But that is okay, you are willing to take that lie at False value, just to feel wanted for the hour.. it takes to be wanted.. sometimes.  You say.. over and over.. I wont do it again and then you find yourself in that position to say no or give in, because they kiss so good and have that look in their eye’s.  That perfected look of lies, and you want to believe that they meant even an ⅛ of the things they sold you on.. Just a sliver of truth.  Awe, but there is, they do think your beautiful and sexy, at least for that moment when you are giving in.. and their eye’s are closed.. kissing you.


The words of an asshole..

Him: “Hey.. If your interested.. All i want from you is to screw”

Me: “Uhh Thanks dear i am well aware of what you want from me”

Him: “Well okay then.. we good?”

Me: “Uhh no.. “

him: “Ohh come on baby.. have you looked in the mirror?  That’s all any guys sees in you.. that’s all anyone will want from you.. So why not stick with one you know?”

me: “Asshole”

him: “No Baby.. I’m just honest….”

The… bad part is.. once you achieve perfect… your still unloveable… some people like us.. just.. are unloveable…. 195lbs or 95lbs… at least that is what I have learned.. from 210 to 125 and.. I’m still not.. loveable..

The… bad part is.. once you achieve perfect… your still unloveable… some people like us.. just.. are unloveable…. 195lbs or 95lbs… at least that is what I have learned.. from 210 to 125 and.. I’m still not.. loveable..

(Source: , via ilove4infinity)

That moment.. when you discover.. the one thing you seem to be really really good at… that one thing. .. everyone seems to understand you are good at… and uses it to their advantage…. That moment…. when you realize. … you are really good. … at… being used. ….

How could you not love life.. when this is what you see… from your back yard??

How could you not love life.. when this is what you see… from your back yard??

Random Rant

2013.09.11

Random Rant..

So.. on with the whole on-line dating..

Boys.. men.. something in the middle.. the way to my heart.. hand.. lips.. or my bed.. is not to call me “baby” or tell me how gorgeous, sexy, hot, “wow” I am..  If i wanted crude pick up lines and “hey Baby’s” I would stick to the jerks who hang out the truck windows and howl at me when i go running.. or walking down the street.. I would stick to the bars and drunk men who beg me to go home with them..

Come on guys.. Looks fade.. hair dye comes out.. makeup (not that I wear much) comes off.. you gain a little weight.. you lose it.. those nice big “boobs” shrink when gravity hits, that nice “flat” tummy.. doesn’t  look so good.. uncovered .I’ve got kids.. it’s really rather ruined..   If you can’t find anything other than.. “hey baby” or “your hot” to say to me.. please.. don’t even try.. i want someone who wants to talk to me, get lost under the hood of a truck, hike, camp, fish.. want me when i haven’t showered in two days in the back country… . not someone.. who simply.. wants to.. .. look at me..